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Losing the Will

I’ve heard of the pre-expansion depression but I’ve never actually felt it, since Wrath was my first expansion and I apparently missed the whole downer at the end of TBC. It’s like, you’re driving a Prius and you’re told that you’re getting a Jag, but only in a few months. The Prius just feels shitty after that.

I only really enjoy raiding and playing with Veir nowadays. Logging in to do some chatting with the guild is fine, and I don’t mind flying mindlessly around maps farming Ores and hoping I get some decent money from it, but there’s just nothing exceptional anymore. Icecrown Citadel is losing its charm very fast, I’ve seen all the boss fights and I’ve done most of them, and I just don’t feel inspired anymore. My Shaman is fully geared up minus perhaps a weapon, so there’s nothing to improve upon there until we get to Heroic fights. My Priest really needs the gearing up but nowadays I just don’t feel like doing ICC10 and I don’t particularly want to PuG 25. My Paladin is losing charm too, tanking isn’t what I enjoy doing and I’m sick of Holy. I’ve got one of every class except Rogue and Mage, and I really don’t feel like burning one of my new class choices until I can level through all of the new Cataclysm content.

I’m not burning out, I’m still playing and doing my dailies and stuff, and my shiny new mount makes me love flying idly around Dalaran or herbing or mining, I guess really I’m just bored without raiding, which I can’t do until next week. The raids bore me, but when I’m running with twenty four other people, some of whom I compete with on a friendly basis and some of whom I just want nothing more than to impress, I can overcome the repetitive content because it’s still entertaining, and I quite miss out Ventrilo conversation that usually end up turning into Gnoor bashing or general sillyness.

Blizzard keeps releasing more and more Cataclysm goodies, and I’m not sure what to do with them, it’s the carrot dangling on the stick just longer than my arm and I want it. I’m aware that nothing content-wise is going to entertain me in Wrath, not now I’ve seen how much awesome joy is to come, so I need to find something to do that’ll inspire me for long enough to play. The guild really is it at the minute, though I feel awkward saying that because I also sound like I’m playing just for the guild, which isn’t true.

It’s complicated. Everybody’s feeling a little blue, but I’ll keep playing WoW no matter what, whether I’m in a guild or not and whether I have friends or not, it’s just what I do. I fly around, I farm, I chat, I raid. So the content is boring, but the people aren’t, and that’s really the key to keeping me here. Yes, I’m probably paying £9 a month for what is effectively a glorified MSN, but to keep in contact with the people I am, I’d pay that and more. I keep thinking about everything Esmi has said to me, and it’s invigorating, that I’ve been in the guild for less than two months and I’ve already made an impression. If I give them two months more, and two months after that, then Cataclysm will be here and I’ll really be able to step up again and give it everything. I’m over my ‘bad player’ thing, I’ve got my mojo, I’ve got my guild and I’ve got my ‘Retarded Horse’, I’m set to play, just, perhaps, not with as much vigor as I would if it were all shiny and new and Cataclysmic.

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